It’s been a while since I’ve blogged and to be honest, I actually thought about stopping all together as nobody has been reading my content recently. I’m fully aware that creating a successful blog takes a lot of time, dedication and patience. The problem with me, is that I’m an incredibly impatient person. My fiancé tried to teach me how to play chords on the guitar once, I wanted to play a song. To this day, I can play part of a song but I have no idea what the chords are.
Anyway, the reason why I’m telling you about this is because it got me thinking about a book I’m reading at the moment – The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. There are some brilliant quotes I’ve come across and I began to realise that my definition of a successful blog, is ultimately making me feel like a failure.
“If you want to change how you see your problems, you have to change what you value and/or how you measure failure/success”
But here’s the thing, I started this blog to share aspiring and positive content, in the hope that one person may read it and feel uplifted. I’ve already achieved this and I am incredibly grateful to those who have taken the time to read my blog. But, why do I feel the need to compare myself to those with countless subscribers and their own little community of followers? Hats off to them for achieving so much success with their work, I genuinely do admire them. However, I need to remember that starting a blog in itself was a big milestone for me 🙂
Here are some of my favourite quotes from the book so far. They really have made me challenge how I see myself.
Don’t be afraid to be different
“Not giving a fuck does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different”
Do what makes you happy. Sometimes it’s hard to break away from the norm, but not doing so doesn’t always make us happy. It’s easier to follow everyone else and adhere to their standards, but would we not rather just enjoy what we feel comfortable with, even if that means being different?
I got a few disapproving comments thrown at me recently for putting my Christmas tree up at the end of November. It’s normally tradition to do this at the beginning of December, however my fiancé and I are travelling up north halfway through December to spend Christmas with family and friends, so we wanted to have it up for as long as possible. I’m a Christmas fanatic and it is our first tree, so we put it up anyway despite the comments.
At first I felt uneasy as I broke my own December tradition and friends were teasing me, however every time I come home to the glowing tree and sparkly decorations, I feel incredibly happy. Surely that means more? 🙂
“Everybody enjoys what feels good. Everyone wants to live a carefree, happy, and easy life, to fall in love and have amazing sex and relationships, to look perfect and make money and be popular and well-respected and admired and a total baller to the point that people part like the Red Sea when they walk into the room. Everybody wants that. It’s easy to want that. A more interesting question, a question that most people never consider, is, “What pain do you want in your life? What are you willing to struggle for?” Because that seems to be a greater determinant of how our lives turn out”
Sometimes bad things happen that lead to positive, life changing experiences. Manson asks a good question here, what pain are we willing to put ourselves through?
This is something I asked myself with my job recently. All jobs come with good and bad moments, it may sometimes feel like more of the latter. However, I look at how much I’ve grown as an Account Manager, the responsibility, new skills and confidence I’ve gained and it makes me realise that I needed those struggles to get to where I am today.
“We suffer for the simple reason that suffering is biologically useful. It is nature’s preferred agent for inspiring change”
I feel like social media is a constant battle for me. I love it and I hate it.
“But now? Now if you feel like shit for even five minutes, you’re bombarded with 350 images of people totally happy and having amazing fucking lives, and it’s impossible to not feel like there’s something wrong with you”
When I was suffering quite badly from anxiety, I would be faced with all these social media posts of people with perfect lives and enjoying amazing experiences which ultimately made me feel both jealous and sad. I often asked myself why I couldn’t be this happy?
The thing with social media is, people don’t tend to post about the difficulties they go through in their lives. You never really see that side of people and to be honest, we’re all guilty of it. I certainly am. I have been through a lot of personal struggles in my life, but if you look at my Facebook feed, you’d think there was nothing wrong with me. It’s one of the reasons why I’ve tried to cut back on the amount of time I spend on there.
There are a lot of pressures that I’ve found come with social media, pressures that affect experiences in my life and not necessarily in a positive way. Ever taken about 10 pictures of yourself to get the perfect selfie boasting a fun experience with friends or partners? I have. It bothers me that I sometimes spend more time worrying about getting the perfect selfie than actually enjoying the experience.
You are your own biggest critic
I really do love this saying. Ultimately, it’s me who decides how high my expectations are. It’s me who decides what goals I have to reach to be successful. I can be incredibly hard on myself sometimes without even realising it.
“Until we change how we view ourselves, what we believe we are and are not, we cannot overcome our avoidance and anxiety. We cannot change”
It’s important to look at how far you’ve come alone and avoid comparing yourself to others. We are all unique. Friends and family love us for being us. One persons perception of beauty is completely different to that of another. The thing that I love most about that? Everybody is beautiful to someone.
It’s an interesting read
I’ve found this book really insightful and there are lots of moments I can really relate to. There are some points Manson makes that I don’t necessarily agree with, but I still find his book full of many truths that most of us don’t like to admit. If you’ve read this or are looking to read it, let me know your thoughts! 🙂